Staying strong under trying circumstances

           Sometimes the not knowing is hard to deal with. We go to doctors asking them to fix us treating them as if they are gods when in reality they are people too.  They poke and prod at us and ask us what we have done to ourselves to get into said predicament.  We think back to the years of abuse on our bodies thinking that we are invincible. We are superhuman in our childhood and teenage years. Then during our young adulthood it is too easy to overdo it on alcohol and processed foods that are inexpensive and easy to prepare for our new family. But is this what is best for us and our bodies? Is this what is causing our bodies to break down and literally fall apart?

In May my world was rocked when my left temple literally felt like something inside my head exploded while I was driving. I pulled over of course because that really scared me. This “headache” was followed by 4 hours of intermittent stabbing pains that left the left side of my face feeling like I had been hit in the face with a 2x4 with a few nails in it and parts of my face were numb. It was a really weird headache, different from the migraines I was used to so I went ahead and drove myself to urgent care. The Urgent care doc suspected either cluster headache or trigeminal neuralgia.  From there I was scheduled for a follow-up with my primary care doctor three weeks later and referred out for a CT scan, MRI, MRA, CBC, Neurology, Cardiology, Allergy, Nutrition, a sleep study, Psychology, and a few more that I can’t seem to remember right now.

There were also several tests ordered from each of these appointments and follow-up appointments. From the MRI we found out that I do have a brain! Exciting news for me because with the daily headache (brain noise) I was starting to feel like there wasn’t much left going on up in there. The Neurologist said that there were a few things to watch from the MRI and that it meant I had to have a repeat scan in 6 months (Dec-Jan). Because of the findings of the MRI he did a lot of tests to rule out other things and all of those tests were negative. So now what I do know is that I have a lesion on the right side of my brain and two growths in the back of my throat. Now I know why I get nauseated so easily.  Until I have the second MRI with the scan of my neck and have more than 1 lesion I wont have a diagnosis.

The cardiologist said that my heart is completely normal. I am free to stop taking the medicine as soon as the headaches go away. The allergist said that I shouldn't be poked with needles because my skin is so sensitive that I have a positive reaction even to the negative controls so they can't do the skin prick testing on me. The nutritionist was surprised at how well we eat as a family and wanted to know why I was visiting him. The sleep study determined that I wake up from the deepest stages of sleep to wide awake several times a night for no apparent reason and because of that I was sent to see the psychologist. The psychologist determined that I'm not crazy and to keep taking the melatonin that the neurologist prescribed for sleeping.

So where does this leave me? After what seems like hundreds of doctors appointments later, I still don’t know. I just have to have faith.  The threat looms over me that some day I may be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. {The Neurologist seems pretty determined that within the next three years that will be my diagnosis even without the second set of MRI films.} I am starting to change the way I take care of myself.  That is a big part of it I think.  We have been pretty healthy eaters for the past 10 years or so. However, #1 (my oldest daughter) has only grown ¼” in 4 years and that was due to eating gluten free for 6 months a little over a year ago because I noticed she wasn’t growing and knew this to be a sign of celiac disease. I took her to the doctor recently and they said she is allergic to wheat. #3 has eczema, and #4 has asthma, these can also be caused by a gluten intolerance. So for the sake of our health we are more than like going to be a gluten free household. I am experimenting with recipes that sound horribly disgusting, but the kids are gobbling them up and say they are delicious. I made some changes to a pumpkin cranbery muffin recipe and they loved it. I'll share that with you all if anyone is interested.

        
             I am running every day to strengthen my legs; I am doing occasional strength training for the rest of my body. I have noticed that the left side of my body does have occasional weakness, numbness, pins and needles; this is more noticeable on days that I take a nice relaxing bath in the morning instead of at night. I take a handful of pills every night to prevent the bad headaches. But I still have the daily irritating I know you are there headaches.  I have only had 3 I think I’m going to die headaches since May and those I believe were Cluster or Trigeminal Neuralgia headaches. So I guess the handful of medicine is doing its job. Tomorrow I have an appointment to get shots in my face and neck. I am nervous about this for obvious reasons a needle to the face… who wants that? I had shots in my back because of unbearable back pain a few years ago and was allergic to it, so now I’m wondering if I’ll be okay with this series of shots. The shots will be administered in a hospital so if I react badly I’ll be in good hands.  My goal is to replace the pills with a healthy lifestlye and diet. I know it isn't possible to cure an auto immune disease but it can be put into remission. This daily pain in my body does not define me, it is here for a purpose and until I know what it is I truly pray that I glorify God in all that I do and say.

So really long post, I’m sorry about that. And if some of this is repeat information also sorry. But I felt putting it all down in one place in a “this is what I know so far post” would be a good idea.  I don’t know anything J Helpful isn’t it. Frustrating. So like I said at the beginning of this “novel” doctors are people too.  They do their best to help us figure out what is ailing us. Sometimes we have to be patient. Sometimes we have to be content with the information that God has given us. What He has given us is always sufficient. We kick and scream and rebel because we want to know why we are struggling.  But, His grace is enough for me.

~ Blessings Brook

Button Ladybugs

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine and I threw a baby shower for another friend. This friend really likes lady bugs. I could not find button lady bugs anywhere so I came up with some. And because I like to share and they were so easy to make I will share with you what I came up with.

 

~You will need ~

 pretty paper, (I used several different colors of scrap book papers), 

A heart paper punch, or just cut a heart shape if you don't have a punch.

A large button for the body and a smaller button for the head for each lady bug

Jewelry beads for the spots on the wings and eyes

Hot glue gun and Elmer's glue

3d adhesive foam squares (scrap booking supplies sticky on both sides)

flexible paper wrapped wire

Place 3d adhesive foam square on larger button

Punch/cut heart shape, place 5-6 spots of glue on heart  and place on other side of 3d foam square.

Place a bead on each glue dot.

Hot glue antenna on to back of smaller button.

Put a generous amount of hot glue between button and heart

 hold smaller button firmly in place

 

place a small strip of hot glue on the front of small button

place two beads in hot glue for eyes

Under side of lady bug

Top of lady bug

Finished lady bug

A "flock"? of lady bugs

 

So as you can see this was an easy project and I believe that they turned out pretty cute. The most important thing is to have fun with it! Get creative. I attached the lady bugs to yo yo flowers and ribbons. How to on those to follow soon.

 

 

Preview of my latest project

I know I have been silent but that doesn't mean I haven't been busy. Here is a preview of my latest project with more pictures and details to come!

 

 

Lady Bugs

YoYo Flower ribbons

 

Lady Bugs!

Hand Stamped and Chalked

PomPom Flower pot with a golden lady bug

Yoyo flower pot with a Volley ballesq lady bug

I'm still not brave enough

However, after five months of sporadic exercise I did manage to achieve some of my weight loss goals.  May 15 I took some measurements, and my body fat % based on the scale and weight. I have repeated this weakly over the past several months and have noticed steady progress. But it wasn’t until this past month, when I started my daily running plan (more on that later) and a new medication to prevent migraines, that I have seen the most results.  So without getting into specific weight and measurements, because I’m pretty sure you all don’t care about that, here are my losses so far:

 

May 15 – October 10

Loss of 9 pounds

Loss of 28 ½” (-4” stomach, -5 ½” waist, -4 ½” hips, -10 ½” legs)  

31.6% Body fat to 25.6% Body fat (-6% body fat according to the scale)

BMI 22.4 to 21.0

It was nice to have a group to be accountable to. Even when I was feeling horrible and lazy I knew that I still had to get my workout in for the day. Most of my exercise over the summer was walking our over grown Tater Tot on a 30-60 min walk. This not only provided exercise for me and the pooch but it also gave the hubby and I some wonderful quality time.

Over the summer I began suffering with some pretty intense medical issues. We still are not sure what is going on after over 30 doctor appointments. I wasn’t able to push myself as hard as I would have liked however the slow and steady approach of walking has yielded pretty steady results.

 

I love a good challenge.  I feel like if I am in a challenge with someone else or have an accountability partner that I am more likely to stick with my workout plan.  15 days ago a co member of the fitness group I am in posted a 100 day challenge that involves running at least 1 mile every day for the next 100 days.  I decided to take the challenge.  The first few days were miserable! I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t run the entire mile without a few walking breaks. Now I am decreasing the time it takes to run my route each time, without walking. I have even run my route in reverse, up the hills. My calves really did not like me after that.  In just two weeks I have seen such a change in my body. I am getting muscle tone in my arms and legs, and my clothes are fitting much better. This running is very addicting.

I admit I am a lot more tired! The symptoms of my mysterious illness are worse. However I have this theory. If I can get my body stronger when this illness takes hold of me I won’t end up in a wheel chair. I will just need a cane or maybe a walker. Who knows maybe I can put it in remission again. If I can be healthy enough maybe it will go away altogether.  I just wish we knew for sure what it was instead of all of these suspicions.

 

Beauty in the Pain

Yesterday I took the girls out for a day at the park, but first we went for a walk along the Leon Creek Greenway. I brought the camera along just in case we found water so that I could photograph the girls playing in the creek. Unfortunately the water was dried up and the area it should have been in was quite stinky.  As we were walking back I saw this thistle bush along the path.  It got me thinking, so I turned around and took it's portrait. When I was able to put the picture on the computer and really zoom in on it I was amazed by what I saw.  The flower is so very frail, almost the thickness of a tissue. The outer edges that are exposed to the elements are damaged from the briers that stab at it, turning it a shade of brown, staining it's petals.  The center, the heart of the flower is filled with tiny pollen covered pieces that have covered the inner flower with it's debris.

How does this relate to me? What pokes and nags at me from the outside world? What pain and scars am I causing to my own body?  Is my heart clean and pure or am I letting it taint my mind?  Am I letting the negativity, and doom and gloom of the world get to me and stain who I am? When I, this thistle, look around me do I see the huge tower of pain that I sit at the top of, or can I look around me and see the beauty that surrounds me?  What do you see in your life, the moment, or eternity? Where is your focus?  Could this flower be the person that is always in pain and so they come across as cold and prickly but really they are fragile and beautiful, something God created perfectly?  Or could it be the person that tries to hide behind their beauty but are truly cold and prickly underneath?

Do we notice the beauty in the trials of our every day, or do we focus on the pain of the situation?  We hear people asking "If there is a God why does he let so much bad happen?" But then you see things like this. Beauty in the brambles, a pinpoint of light in the darkness, something bad that had to happen for something amazing to come to be.   God provides us with these little reminders in our day to "Stop and smell the roses."  Although I wouldn't recommend smelling the prickly ones.

An innocent child will notice the beauty and pick the flower so that they can carry it with them and enjoy every minute of it.  As an adult tainted by years of knowledge we know that if we pick that flower it's life will soon be over, so we tend to discourage the picking of flowers. But just this day I said okay.  You may pick all the flowers that you want to pick, enjoy them and make a beautiful bouquet.  Then I looked beside her and saw one that God and already created.

We enjoyed the beauty that was all around us, taking in the smells of the wild flowers.

 This walk showed me that no matter what ugly thing is in my life there is something so much more beautiful beside it.  All I need to do is open my eyes and see it.  I pray you will do the same!




From now on I will try to remember to see the beauty despite my pain.  I will focus more on the beauty than the things that annoy me.  I will focus my attention on the things that are good, and pure and genuine as I am instructed in Philippians 4:8  whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

http://pinterest.com/brook_triscuit/

A book Every parent should read

A couple months ago I was going through my junk mail box for my e-mail account before deleting all the mail that I didn't ask for.  So many people send me e-mails assuming I am a middle aged man in need of a little extra help, and in need of AA RP.  I assure you I am none of those things.  Anyway, on one such occasion of laughing at all the "free offers" I came across an e-mail from Barnes and Noble.  Normally I would just keep going and ignore it, but it said I had a book waiting for me.  I didn't order any books so I was skeptical but clicked on the message anyway.  My dad had purchased me a book for the Nook that he got me for my last birthday.  Good thing I checked it and didn't just delete it! This is what I found

The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind.

 By Daniel J. Siegel, MD. and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD.

I admit I am only 86 pages into this 138 page book, but it has been so eye opening.  It gives several real world examples of real parents dealing with real problems that we all have with raising our children.  Using a scientific example of how the brain works and how to most efficiently and effectively communicate with our children.

Understanding the way the brain functions makes a big difference on the way I communicate with my children.  It also helps me to understand why I react the way I do to certain stimuli.  I know why my skin crawls when the house is a mess now. For older children the authors have been kind enough to include mini comic strips to share with your children to help explain the different strategies.

Introduction: Survive and Thrive

Chapter 1: Parenting with the brain in mind.

Chapter 2: Two brains are better than one: Integrating the Left and the Right

Whole-Brain strategy #1 Connect and Redirect: Surfing Emotional Waves.

Whole-Brain strategy #2: Name it to Tame it: Telling stories to calm big emotions.

Chapter 3: Building the staircase of the Mind: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs brain

Whole-Brain Strategy #3: Engage, Don't Enrage: Appealing to the Upstairs Brain

Whole-Brain Strategy #4: Use it or Lose it: Exercising the Upstairs Brain

Whole-Brain Strategy #5: Move it or Lose it: Moving the body to avoid losing the mind.

Chapter 4: Kill the Butterflies! Integrating Memory for growth and healing

Whole-Brain Strategy #6 Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying memories

Whole-Brain Strategy #7: Remember to Remember. Making Recollection a Part of your family's daily life.

Chapter 5: The United States of Me: Integrating the many parts of self

Whole-Brain Strategy #8: Let the clouds of Emotion roll by: teaching that feelings come and go

Whole-Brain Strategy #9: Sift: Paying attention to What's going on inside

Whole-Brain Strategy #10: Exercise Mindsight: getting back to the hub.

Chapter 6: The Me-We connection: Integrating Self and Other

Whole-Brain Strategy #11: Increase the Family fun factor: Making a point to Enjoy each other

Whole-Brain Strategy #12: Connect Through Conflict: Teach kids to argue with a "we" in mind

Conclusion: Bringing it all together

Refrigerator Sheet

Whole-Brain Ages and Stages

Check out this link to see several pages from inside the book

http://www.amazon.com/The-Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies/dp/0553807919#_

And buy a copy while you're there!

If you want the best for your children and will use what ever tool it takes to be the best parent you can be, I highly recommend this book.

Happy Reading!

http://pinterest.com/brook_triscuit/

Just tell me what to do!

This has been on my mind a lot lately. And by a lot I mean all the time.

When we are growing up we get sick of people always telling us what to do. We are told how to dress, what to think, what to eat, how we are going to spend our days. We can't wait to grow up and make our own decisions.

Well the time has finally arrived. I am a grownup.  I know hard to believe, I still find it hard to believe myself. But, the reason I know I'm a grownup is because I no longer have anyone telling me what to do.  I am the one responsible for telling everyone else what to do.  How did that happen?  I don't want to tell anyone what to do.

Lately I have been feeling like I don't know what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life.  I know I'm a mom and I'm supposed to be being a mom. I know I home school and that those two things alone are a full time job.  But I also know that I have this feeling in me like I am supposed to be doing something more.  I feel like there is something that I should be doing that I am not. And that my friends, is what I want someone to tell me.  What is it that I'm missing?

Over the past several years I have developed the pretty distinct impression in conversations with God that I should be writing.  He made me to write, to entertain and to raise some pretty amazing little girls.  My problem is finding the subject matter.  Not knowing what to write about makes sitting down and being productive a little difficult.  So I use my other creative outlets to get over the need to write.  But I still feel like I need to be doing something more.

So if anyone has heard from God for me about this... It would be great if you would share it with me! :)

The number system

For the anononimity (is that a word?) of my children I have decided that rather than coming up with cute nick names for them that I will just call them #1, #2, #3 and #4.  This will be in age order and in no way indicates order of preferance, or it would look more like #1, #2, #3 and #4.... See what I did there? You have no idea who I'm talking about ;)

So to test this out, last night as my hubs and I were tucking them into bed I started with #4, and said "Good night #4, I love you." She of course giggled because #4 is the silliest and cuttest #4 you'll ever see.  My hubs joined in and started calling her #4 as well.  She likes it.  Then we moved on to #3.  I walked in her bedroom and it was clean, and she was in bed with the lights off.  I asked "Are you already asleep #3"  She shook her head yes.  "Ok then, are you going to pray with us #3?" She shook her head yes.  #3 is an excelent sleeper.  She will go take a nap if we tell her to and always goes right to bed when we tell her to.  "She smiled really big every time I called her #3."  So I guess that means she approves too. So lastly we went into #1 and #2's bedroom. #1 &2 share a room because they are about the same size and have almost everything in common so they share everything, so it's much easier for them to share.  I walked into their room saying "it's time for bed #1 and #2" they started laughing immediatly thinking of bodily functions with similar names.   Who said girls aren't grose? So we started our prayers and #4 came running into the room and jumped on top of #2 and gave her a bear hug.  #2 and #4 are really close.  We finished up our prayer and the jokes about # 1-4 started.  We couldn't stop laughing.  But we all agreed that it will be fun calling them #'s.

I wonder if this new system will keep me from getting their names mixed up when I'm calling them.  You know how us parents are, always calling our kids the wrong names.  But I'm pretty sure I can remember their birth order?.?

This morning I came downstairs and the girls were sitting at the island eating their breakfast in # order.... how convenient is that?  So I leaned forward and said "Good morning #4" and tried to give her a kiss, but she was too busy chewing and wouldn't give me one. Weird because usually she can't resist the mommy kissy face.  Then I scooted down and repeated with #3 -1 then came back to #4.  Then after her kiss she yelled "Milky kiss!" because she had a little bit of milk on her lips.

So from now on when I say something about #3 humming all day long, you will know I'm talking about the 3 child.  If I say something about #2 being 8 chapters into a Jane Austen novel you will know it's my second oldest.  And if I say #1 finished another book series in less than a month, then you will know I have an avid reader ;) And #4 is just a cutie pie, that loves her mama more than anything or anyone in the world, well except for maybe her favorite spot blanket. I think I'm a close second to the blanket. Oh wait, I just asked her, she said she likes me better.

Thoughts of a military nature.

Today I saw an image of a young woman visiting the grave of her husband, and the young man in uniform kneeling behind her with his hand upon her shoulder. He is transparent (a ghost) so we get the idea that he is there comforting her and listening to her as she visits him. It says "NEVER FORGOTTEN!! Remember those who have Fallen fighting for ALLof US!"

As a wife of a career military man this is very powerful to me. One, because I know this could easily have been me, or still could be some day. And two, because society so easily dismisses the sacrifices that military members and their families make. We seldom hear about those that lost their lives defending our freedom.

I sob uncontrollably when I see a folded flag handed to a widow. I pray that I will never get one of those handed to me! I told my husband that I didn't care what his plans are, I'm dieing first. I tear up when I see someone in uniform reuniting with his/her family, because I have been there. 

The longest deployment kept us apart for four months while I was home (in Japan) with my two babies and no family to help me out. When he came home the girls didn't know him! I stood there with one girl in each arm holding them close wiping my eyes on them because my husband wouldn't get off the stinking plane! A local reporter snuck up and snapped a picture of us because we looked so pitiful. But then was there when he finally got off the plane and came quickly up to us. You can see the love in our eyes. Or... looks say everything.

Joining a support group

It has been a week since I decided I would be brave enough to take a before picture and weight and measurements. I'm thinking I will start doing a weekly weigh in and measuring session to track my progress because the wonderful dear sweet scale doesn't seem to think I am making much progress at all.  It really is a mean scale!  Although I will have to admit that it has lowered my body fat % by 3% in the last few weeks. So that's nice and considerate of it.

Over the last week, my husband and I have really been getting back into the habit of exercise.  We were slacking and inconsistent with our workouts due to health reasons over the last several months (that could be a cause of my scale not budging.)

I started joining him on his outdoor runs. Not really something that I have done since high school.  I was in cross country way back when and could run a pretty fast 5k. (between 21-24 min for 3 miles) That was when I was 17. Can't run that fast anymore, at least not yet.  Because of my slow pace I have been making my hubby run a lot slower than he is use to but it is increasing both of our endurance.  We run 3 miles every other day around our hilly neighborhood in scorching temperatures.  My mouth does not like not having water for that long, but I'm too lazy to carry a bottle of water.  he he, I'm a lazy workout addict. Sounds contradictory doesn't it!

On the days we are not running we head to the gym as a family.  While we work out the kids get to spend an hour and a half to two hours playing (see home school kids do get socialized). I spend the first hour on either the treadmill or a cross trainer machine. I have been able to increase my running distance from half a mile without walking all the way up to 5 miles. Although, I did end up with a pretty nasty looking heal from that run. Eventually I may start running for the full 1.5 to 2 hours that we are at the gym.  After my run/cross training I usually lift weights or do some heavy calisthenics.  I want to be fit, but without someone to hold me accountable it is too easy to quit.  There have been several times that I have wanted to stop running, and my husbands encouraging words got me through the pain and through the urge to quit.

I also joined a support group.  I am required to check in daily with the workout that I did and how long it took me.  I only have to do 20 min a day, but I aim for at least an hour so that the ultimate fat burning can happen.  When I get to the mid way point I will be brave enough to post those pics that I have taken. But for now you can't see them ;) This challenge started last week and will end at the end of August. Who ever works out the most will win a prize.  Run to win the race, not just to finish it!

for the love of children

Most people know me as a calm, level headed, soft spoken mom. But my family knows different. They see the me that is rigid and always in need to be in control of things.  I do not like it when my house is a mess and the children are not doing their work. When there are toys all over the floor and the carpet is covered in dirt, scraps of paper and pencil erasures, muddy dog footprints on the tile, beds unmade and laundry not done I feel like the house is in shambles and that we should be on an episode of hoarders!  My skin crawls and I feel my stress level rising.

On a good day I will do a quick clean up and be just fine. On a bad day I will clean while complaining to the kids that if they would just do their chores every day they wouldn't have to hear me yelling at them and calling them little piggies.

I do know that I need to be somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The girls do need to learn responsibility and clean up after themselves. Getting dressed, and brushing their teeth in the morning should be automatic. I do not believe I should have to tell them every day.

It drives me crazy when they are singing and laughing instead of doing their math, or splashing water all over the counter top and mirror instead of brushing their teeth and washing their sweet little faces.

I fight anger on a daily basis, trying to ignore the little things that get under my skin. I'm usually unsuccessful and I end up telling them to be quite and to do their work. I feel like I need to control every aspect of their life. I wonder where that came from?

I only get this way (controlling and demanding) about things that are my responsibility. If it is my job to make something into a finish product, I will do my very best to make it the best that it can be. But, with children, there are so many uncontrollable variables. How irritating! It is my job that they learn the materials that they need to know for each grade level. Some day they will be going back into public school and I don't want them to be behind in any way.  I don't know, maybe that is my pride speaking and not love. Love wants them to grow and mature and to improve themselves, pride wants to turn them into little robots that do not have their own thoughts and imaginations.

God gave me free will, and I have to admit that He also gave it to my children. They love me even when i am mad at them, just as God loves us even when we mess up. Don't get me wrong, I do love my children no matter what! love never comes into question, but the way I'm loving them does.

I love my darling baby girl (who is now 4) when she is dancing around and singing sweetly or cuddling up in my lap much more than when I'm unclogging the toilet from the roll of toilet paper that she decided she needed to use to clean the poo out of her pants. And when I'm cleaning that same poo off the toilet, carpet and out of her underwear, and off her little hinny. I get frustrated by her lack of self control, or her outright rebellion in refusing to go to the bathroom in the toilet, and the mess she makes all over herself and the floor and the toilet and her clothes when trying to clean the mess up herself.

Many times after yelling at the kids for one act of disobedience or another I walk away and reflect. It seams like I always regret yelling or raising my voice at them, and sometimes saying things that I shouldn't. I think about my own mistakes and how I must be giving God the same frustrations my children are giving me. Why can't I just behave and do what God created me to do?

Because, I am human and I am not capable of doing His will on my own. How can I expect more from my children than I do from myself?  The fact that I know these things does not change my behavior, and it does not change theirs. All we can do is love each other

World traveler...kind of...part 1

Lake Quinalt, Washington (the rainy part)

I am a native resident of Washington State. Where everything is green and beautiful. A lot of people would say that's because it rains all the time, but I don't think so.  Although it has been over 12 years since I have called it home, so my memory may be a bit shady.
Washington has so much variety and that is what I love about it.

Lake Chelan, Washington (The hot side of the state)

The Pacific Ocean, Ocean Shores, Washington

I don't know if you noticed the theme or not,
but there is a lot of water there! I miss the crystal clear water.

And smack dab in the middle of the state is the Cascade Mountain range, it sepertates the "wet" side from the "dry" side. So many wonderful things to see and do in Washington! 




Mt. Rainer

I lived in Washington for 21 years of my life before I began a life of a military wife. I met my husband while out with a friend. Six months later we were married. Three months after that we were packing up and headed to Misawa, Japan.

Baby bottomless sandals

A few weeks ago my cousin-in-law posted a picture to my Facebook page and asked. "Can you make these?"  Always up for a challenge I set to work, and this is what I came up with:

I started with cotton yarn and got these cute little washcloth like Baby bottom-less sandal's.  A couple people liked them so I made some more.

 Because I no longer have cute little baby feet in my house to try them on I made three in each color using three different sized crochet hooks. I'm sending all but the last two to my cousin-in-law to "get rid of them" for me.  Maybe she will be kind enough to take pics of these on baby feet for me!

http://pinterest.com/brook_triscuit/

Blogging from my phone

Technology is truly amazing. I have been using the excuse that I can not blog because my computer likes to turn pink and restart itself every time I turn it on. But apparently like almost everything else there is "an app for that." So the little blogger icon on my phone next to my to do list will be a friendly reminder to Swype away on my phone, unless I get UN lazy any time soon and carry the laptop downstairs so that I can "work"and "school"at the same time instead of putting off the work. So this will be the beginning of my attempt at daily posts. Keep me accountable! Please:)

Progress

In the past 11 days I have gone to the gym, done a home workout or gone running 7 times.  I have not been as consistent as I would like to be with my work outs but I have noticed a difference.

Two weeks ago I was drinking a pot of coffee a day and still was very tired, this past week I have only been drinking one cup of coffee and having enough energy to make it through the day without exhaustion. So that is perk number one of working out, excess energy to do more things.  I also noticed that my desire to snack has gone down. I'm back to the forgetting to eat lunch. So perk number two would be less calories going in than being used throughout the day. We all know what that means right? Weight loss! So perk number two, smaller grocery bill because I'm not pigging out at dinner and there are more left overs, and I'm back to the 141lb mark. So the pounds I put on by not working out are going away.

I am also drinking a lot more water, (that could actually explain all of the above)... That makes me wonder, if I were to stop working out but just drink a lot of water if it would have the same effect. Nah, probably not. I'm still having pain in abundance, but I know that will start to diminish soon. 

Yesterday I went for a run on the treadmill.  I like to do interval training because, frankly, I can't run that far without taking a walking break. I started out as usual with running as far as I could without stopping at a pace of 5.5 miles per hour. I made it a mile before I slowed down to walk at 4mph, checked my heart rate, got a drink of water and then started running at 6mph for as long as i could stand it then back down to 4mph.  I did this cycle of running walking all the way up to 9mph and then back down again. Once I finished that I ran at 5.5mph again and increased my speed by .1 every 10 seconds up to 7mph and then decreased my speed by .1 every 20 seconds. After I was done with my walking break I noticed that I only had 3 min left of my planned 30min run, so I thought I would sprint at 9mph as long as I could and make up distance for all the times I walked.  I lasted about 1 min at 9mph until my heart started beating out of my chest. I quickly jumped to the side rails and slowed the machine down to 3mph so i could catch my breath and monitor my heart rate. The machine could not read how fast my heart was beating but it made me aware that it was beating at 100% of my maximum heart rate for my age.  I have an app on my phone that monitors heart rate so I pulled it out and checked it.  The initial heart rate was 200 then it paused and slowed to 80 then did a weird bubble pop somersault feeling thing then was beating at 200 again. It was weird and scary so I finished my run, wiped down my machine (Yes I wipe off my machine after I work out! I don't understand why so many people don't) picked up the girls from the kid's zone and went home.  It took about half an hour for my heart to go back to beating normally. 

I'm not sure if the workout was what caused the weird heart rate. I did take my medicine and haven't missed any doses so it wasn't that. I had a big stresser earlier in the day when a 7 or 8 year old boy punched my 5 year old daughter in the eye. I am not someone who will confront people, but I did. I get mad but people usually don't know it.  I was mad enough to be shaking, so I think my adrenalin was high. That could be a factor.  Anyway there has been no negative effects since yesterday afternoon.

I went for a run with my husband today. Maybe more of a jog/walk. We jogged and walked 3 miles through our neighborhood, up and down hills in the very hot weather. I enjoyed being out with my husband, but I didn't so much like the running part of it.  I may have to stick to the treadmill, at least for now. I felt bad making him run so slow. He usually runs 4 miles in the time it took us to run 3 (35 min) We had to walk the last half mile because I was very nauseated. My heart only hurt a little on the run today, it was more of a not able to breath problem. And apparently I don't run right either... who knew there was a right and wrong way to land on your feet?

Working out again

The biggest frustration is months of working out only to gain 3 pounds. Although I did take a month and a half off because of sick kiddos.  We can't be spreading the sickos around to other kids!

Although I have gained weight, I have also gained the ability to run for more than a quarter of a mile without stopping, I can do more than 1 push up and I have much better pain tolerance overall.  I'm not having the really bad recovery time anymore, and that is a definite bonus. 

When I first started working out again back in January I realized that I didn't have and decent gym clothes so I went on a shopping spree and bought a lot of size M clothing. It fit just right at first.  I noticed by mid February that I was in need of a size Smedium. Do they make that size? After my exercises sabbatical I am back into a medium again.  But the key to all of this is, that I did get smaller, but I didn't see it reflected on the scale.  So I got out of the habit of weighing myself every time I saw the scale (i.e. 50 times a day) I do weigh 5 pounds more at night than I do in the morning, and about three pounds more than mid day.  I figure if I weigh my self at night it will give me the motivation to go work out in the morning. 

Part of this "laid back" personality of mine makes me realllllly care that I want to lose weight, but not care so much about doing anything about it. Is there anyone else out there like that?!?!?!  I do not have an addictive personality at all!  There isn't much in this life that I couldn't live without. I could love it or leave it no regrets no hurt feelings.  Well except for my family and my relationship with God. Everything else, yes EVERYTHING else is replaceable, so I don't give it much value placement in my life.  I suppose that is why I am so easy going.

So for me, for now.... if the mood hits I have to act now or it will soon fade away.  If I feel like I want to run, I better run to the gym now and get going or in an hour I will have changed my mind and found something else to do. (Hmmmm, maybe I have add? SQUIRREL!)  So this will be one roller coaster of a ride to lose the weight that I have put on over the years of moves and medicine trials and horrible eating.  I will not be taking diet pills or following a specific diet plan, just doing it the good old fashioned way, exercising. And no I'm still not brave enough to post a before picture. (Haven't even taken one)

Part of my workout routine, for non gym running days is from Zuzana light https://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/ZuzkaLight
She has great videos of her ZWOW's or work out of the week.  They are motivating and quick, so on days that I don't have time to go to the gym I'll do one of her workouts and then go through my day.
On Monday I didn't have time to go to the gym and I didn't want to dedicate a certain time to workout. So as I was sitting watching TV after the girls were done with their school for the day I felt like exercising but still wanted to watch TV. So during the commercial breaks I squeezed in 10-20 reps of different exercises in three min. intervals.  I ended up doing 10 sets through out the day and I was sure sore from it the next day.  But the cool thing was, instead of channel surfing or just watching commericals, I got in a pretty great workout.  So there is an idea for anyone out there that does not have time to work out.... do it as hard and fast as you can during commercials all through the day and you will keep your heart rate up and calories burning all day long!

My goal now (after gaining 3 pounds) is to lose 23 pounds by this time next year. That is a 2 pound per month goal, and is do able if I stick with the exercises. And if I lose the weight slowly then it should be easier to keep it off.  No more "experimental lets see if this makes you feel better medicine" for me. Exercise and healthy eating and lots of water seem to be what makes me feel the best.  All of you autoimmune disease people out there take my word for it. I know you don't want to exercise because it hurts, but it gets better! Activity gets your body going again and helps it to heal itself.

update

Who knew maintaining a blog would be so difficult. I think my biggest issue is that no one reads this.  I suppose I shouldn't let that get to me because in a way I guess it is therapeutic to write.

I tried a homeschooling group park day today and the girls absolutely loved it. It was nice to see them able to play with other kids after months of being "stuck" at home. And, I must admit, it was great for me to have some adult time with someone other than my husband! Not saying that my husband isn't great, but a person needs to speak to more than 1 adult a week to not go completely crazy. (Well this person anyway)

Homeschooling has had it's trials, and it's rewards. We are finally settling into some sort of routine. The girls are getting better about getting to work in the morning. We are focusing on our math and language arts for the time being, and will switch to history and science when they finish up. I found a book that tells me what the girls need to know for each grade level and even gives recommendations on curriculum that will satisfy those requirements. It has been helpful for me.

Chores.... didn't work out for me.  They stuck with the chart for about a week and a half before they stopped using it, claiming to have forgotten about it. (Despite daily reminders) I have now decided that I will do the stuff around the house that has to be  done so that nobody dies. When the girls realize that  they have no more clean clothes they will have to do a load of laundry. I'm going to be less of a control freak and see how that works out for me.

On the writing front... I haven't, at all.  I have been working on my story for 10 years but I think that it's not the story that needs to be written right now.  I'm not sure what story is in me, but the one that I finally do write will be amazing, when I get around to writing it.  I know there is a story in here somewhere. Everyone was made to do something, and it is my belief that I was made to write. I feel so scatterbrained and all over the place most of the time. And it looks like my writing is going that way too right now.

Well maybe it will serve as an outlet for me, maybe it will give you a chuckle.  But regardless of my inability to be creative the last few years, I will do my best to write more often. Maybe somewhere in there I will come up with my story to tell. Maybe I will become more organized in my head. And maybe you will be entertained.

CHORES!

     This week I decided to make the girls do chores.  I know, late start but what can you do?  I felt that if I have a strict schedule of how we spend our days, they will go a little bit smoother.

     On the chore chart I included everything so that it can become a habit for their life. 

I included the first letter in each of their names for each day of the week so I know who did what chore. At the end of the week (today) I will add up the totals in each line and pay them in chore bucks and school bucks.  Check out this link for free printable behavior charts.com  http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/behavior_bucks.htm

This is where I got the bucks to pay them for their chores and school work.

Here we see the room of the day chart. 

 I have all of the girls help me clean 1 room each day really well. I do a general clean of the rest of the house. The purpose of this is to teach the girls how to maintain a home. They are learning how to cook, clean, sew, bake, craft, shop for a household, maintain excellent hygiene, and many more life skills. 

For every chore completed at the end of the week they will receive 1 chore buck, and for every assignment completed 1 homework buck.  My husband and I have decided to assign a value of 10 cents per buck earned, and at the end of the month they will have the option to exchange chore bucks in for real money at 10 cents on the dollar.  At this point we will teach them how to handle their money.  maybe instituting a 20% saving, 80% doing whatever they want to policy. We haven't thought that far ahead yet.

It is taking longer to get the house clean each day having the girls help me, because I am teaching them how to do each item on the list.  They will argue over who gets to vacuum or wash the TV with Windex.  The day we did the living room as a family I gave my two youngest (3 and 5) a microfiber cloth and set them loose on the living room.  They dusted everything, including the bottom of the leather sofa cushions! My oldest two (10 and 11) decided there wasn't enough on my list and included washing the windows and even tried to move on to the kitchen too.

They all run to check the chore chart to see if there is anything else they can do for the day.  I keep a copy hanging on the fridge for them to mark off each chore as they do it so the above photo isn't correct.  I have had the girls ask me if they can take the garbage out, and offering to help me with dinner.  They no longer groan when I ask them to help clean my youngest's bedroom because they get to check off the "picked up toys" box.

So although chores are causing more work for me, I am teaching the girls valuable lessons and eventually I won't have to directly supervise everything they are doing.



A New Year a New life

         We have been living in San Antonio for about 2 months now. Life here is much different than it was in the sleepy little town in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma.  In fact, there is more shopping opportunities just outside of our new neighborhood than there was in the entire town we came from.
         Our first month here trying to get into a house was the worst on me physically. Living in a hotel means a lot of eating out.  Oh, and the day we moved into our house I got my toe run over by our big screen t.v. and broke it! I gained 10 pounds! So about a week ago I joined the gym just outside of my neighborhood. (See I told you we had everything)
        I have a few physical limitations, but I am refusing to let them keep me from getting in to the best physical shape possible.  While I was in college many many years ago, I developed two conditions that doctors just could not figure out or explain.  They said that I was young and whatever it was wouldn't kill me.  Great answer doc thanks.  I felt like it was going to kill me!  My biggest issue was with my heart.  No matter my physical condition through the years (super fit, out of shape, or pregnant) my heart rate always beat too fast for what I was doing. I'll give you an example, walking on the treadmill at 3.5 setting with 0 incline heart rate around 150.  If I bumped it up to 5 and jogged my heart rate shot up to 200-230 depending on the day. High right!  So just walking slow wasn't very good exercise. I could lift weights fine, but we all know you need cardio in there too.        
       Well just last year I finally saw someone that knew exactly what was wrong with me. Relief! Now even sprinting at a 9.5 or 10 on the treadmill the highest my heart will beat is 160. :)  For all of you wondering, the condition is known as Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia (IST)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inappropriate_sinus_tachycardia 2 pills a day and it is kept under control, and they also keep my tremors at bay. 
          Imagine someone with the shakes going on with a fast heart rate.  I see a hairless chihuahua shaking all over the place, grey with black hair on the end of her tail and black mo hawk! (see very visual)
         My second problem was finally diagnosed while we were living overseas in Misawa Japan.  I saw a rheumatologist that specialized in Fibromyalgia.  She touched a pressure point on my back and i jumped off the exam table because it hurt so bad.  She should have warned me first I guess. So I had all the symptoms and she said Yes you have it.  I wasn't happy with the diagnosis, or their "solution" so I saw several other doctors and they all gave me the same answers.  So I have come to accept that yes I do have Fibromyalgia. Living with the Fibromyalgia pain has made my pain tolerance high and low at the same time.  When I broke my toe, yes it hurt, but I didn't think it was broken.  In fact I didn't go to the doctor for 2 weeks because I thought it was just sprained.
         So how does that affect my workout you may ask?  Well, if I lift enough weight to fatigue myself at the gym, my recovery time is much longer than your average person. Instead of a 1 day recovery time I require 3-5 days. In the past I have allowed both of these conditions to hold me back. I am an all or nothing kind of person. I can't just lift 5 pounds because I know I won't hurt tomorrow. I have to push myself to fatigue. But I used to take 3-4 days off between going to the gym. so 1 day on 3 days off.  Now I am forcing myself to work through it. 3-4 days on 1 day off.  Even though I am hurting and can hardly walk I make myself go to the gym and guess what?  As soon as that blood starts flowing the pain isn't so bad!  I do not take medicine for my Fibromyalgia because the "May cause weight gain" side effect makes me gain weight rapidly.  I don't like that side effect as I'm trying to lose the weight. As far as the toe is concerned, it has been long enough to be all better but it still gets to be an inconvenience. It gives me trouble when I run and do exercises that require jumping around (burpees don't feel pleasant).
         So this past week I have been working out with my husband.  We both do our own thing first, I usually alternate running and walking for about 30 min on the treadmill while he lifts free weights then we get together and do an intense workout together.  Facing each other, we encourage and challenge each other to finish the reps.  We have done an intense timed 300 kettle bell workout two times.  The first time it took us nearly 20 min to complete, the second time it only took 17 min.  I started following several fitness sites that have given me great tips and the motivation to push myself.  I am the type of person that no matter how little I weigh I have a very hard time getting muscle definition. (114 at 5'6" and my stomach was just flat, no line or anything) I am determined to get some muscle tone!
      The silver lining to all of this?  My husband and I are spending some quality time together doing something that we both truly enjoy.  We are encouraging each other to do our very best, to look our best, and to make healthy choices.  Our girls are learning the healthy lifestyle that will hopefully follow them into their future.  They really enjoy going to the gym and ask every day when we are going.  Oh and the pain, it will be reduced by weight loss. I forgot to mention, when I was 2 I was in a car accident that injured my back and resulted in arthritis. I am truly a youngster in an old persons body!  So all of this exercise will, hopefully, make the outside match the inside.
      Once a week I will try to remember to update my weight loss and progress in the gym. And maybe some day I will be brave enough to post a picture. 
     Starting weight Jan 27 : 141  according to my bathroom scale 31% body fat, I really hope that isn't right!   Weight today, still 141 body fat 30%.
               Here's to a happy healthy body toning year in San Antonio!

My first ice cream cake

My daughter turned 10 on Tuesday and to celebrate I made her an Ice Cream cake. It was a big hit even though I didn't use a recipe.  Because this was my first attempt at an ice cream cake, I took pictures to document my success or failure.  Choose the flavors you like, although this combination was delicious!

Bake brownies from a box mix in two 9" cake pans

Transfer first brownie "cake" into a 9' spring form pan

This is the Ice Cream I used, Strawberry Cheesecake and Vanilla Bean

Allow ice cream to soften

 (or if you are impatient like me put it in the microwave for 30 seconds)

Spread first layer of ice cream. (Strawberry cheesecake)

Add second brownie "cake" on top of ice cream

Add second layer of ice cream (Vanilla Bean)

Wrap in foil and freeze for at least 3 hours

 (I did all the steps above the night before her birthday and froze over night)

Now it's time to make the frosting

Mix softened cream cheese, Vanilla and almond extract to taste

1 cup sugar and 2 cups heavy cream

This is a firm whipped frosting that will hold it's shape and not "melt off"

Remove the frozen cake from it's pan.

If it is frozen closed, place entire thing in the sink in hot water for about 10 seconds, the edges will release from the pan and the latch will easily open.

(don't submerge the entire cake, just the metal part. I know you knew that but just in case)

I put the cake on a cake board because the icing and decorations will be further out than the spring form pan

( I just left it there, it made the cake board stronger)

Place cake back in the freezer so it can firm back up again.

Use the next 10 or so minutes to smash a few Oreos

use your hands to smoosh the Oreos around the side of the cake.

I used my Pampered Chef  Easy accent decorator to decorate the top and bottom

Any day that I get to use my Kitchen Aid and decorator is a good day!

Drizzle with caramel and chocolate sauce.

I used the caramel that came with the box of brownies. It was a turtle brownie

And the shell chocolate so it was hard on the cake not dripping

 

                                       add a cookie and maraschino cherry in the middle

freeze until 15 min before you are ready to blow out the candles

Inside

Make sure to cut the pieces small! This is a very rich cake.

It easily serves 12-18 people

Enjoy!