Why I write

Why do I write?  Because I’m good at it? Is it because I am trained to write?  Because it is a good source of income?

             The answer to all of those questions is an overwhelming laughable NO!  I write because I have to.  There is something in me that says demands that I write.  I do not write because I have a million things to get out of my head.  I write because of the pull, the constant prodding to write.  It has nothing to do with me or my abilities.  It is just the drive that I have to write. It is like a craving for salt or sugar, or like I am dying of thirst.  I cannot make this hunger, this urge stop unless I write.  So, I suppose that means my writing is for me and my health.  If I publish something and someone happens to like it or it helps someone else get through his or her day, then it was for a good purpose.

            The unfortunate reality for me is that if I am not writing I am depressed.  I have a deep in my heart, soul and mind sadness.  Funny enough, I often do not recognize why I am feeling this way.  I often allow myself to be overwhelmed by everything happening around me.  Being an introvert, I would much rather be alone in my own thoughts than to stress myself out be being around other people. Knowing this is not helpful at all by the way.  It is in this knowledge that I begin to doubt myself, and the abilities that God has blessed me with.

            I have a very honest and loving friend that recently told me that in doubting my abilities that it is as if I have slapped God in the face!  Me eyes and heart are opening to what He has for me, but it definitely takes much time and prayer.  I do not want to be ruled by fear.  I have the fear of judgment by “my readers.”  I have the fear of misrepresenting God.  However, in typing that, I am immediately reminded that 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

            With this in mind, where does the fear come in?  What has put that doubt in my mind, or the worry that people will not like what I write?  Why does it even matter if people like what I write if I am doing it for me, and to God?  When that is the case, it does not matter at all what other people think.  This, my friends, is also applicable to everything that we do.  What a concept that is.

            I want to write things that will bring joy into the life of my readers.  I want to provide accurate information as well.  I desire to be a light in the world that reflects the light of Jesus.  This is my ultimate goal in life.